I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
