Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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