i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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