it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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