I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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