smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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