i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize