Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
