you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
