So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
