3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
