This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
