We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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