Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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