That's intense
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
