brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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