...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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