I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
