Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
