He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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