Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
