you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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