it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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