hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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