I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
