So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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