wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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