i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
