Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize