Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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