my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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