Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
