i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
