We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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