So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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