Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
