I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
