I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
