When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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