Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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