i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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