the day after is always just damage control
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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