No stitches, just platelets and will power
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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