Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My ass is underappreciated
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
