First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i barfeds in our rink
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
