just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The Olympian is in my bed
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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