i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
