Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
