I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
