That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
