it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
