my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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