Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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