I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
