it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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