Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
