Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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