Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
