they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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